Saturday, May 23, 2009

I Love This Doctor

အီးေမးလ္ထဲက ရလာတ့ဲ ရယ္စရာေလးပါ။ ေပါ့ေပါ့ပါးပါး ရယ္စရာေလး ျဖစ္ပါတယ္။ က်င့္သံုးသင့္ မသင့္ ဆိုတာကေတာ့ ခ်င့္ခ်ိန္ေပါ့ေနာ...။

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. So have a cup now and then!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Please remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'!

AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans or Australians.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans or Australians.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans or Australians.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans or Australians.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans or Australians.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

11 comments:

  1. ဆရာဝန္ေၿပာရင္နားေထာင္ရမွာေပါ႕။
    Eat and drink what you like.
    အဲဒါ သိတ္ႀကိဳက္တယ္။

    ReplyDelete
  2. Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

    ဒါေသြးထြက္ေအာင္ မွန္တယ္၊

    Conclusion က အသက္ရွည္ခ်င္ရင္ အဂၤလိပ္လုိ ေျပာတာေလ်ွာ့ၿပီး ဗမာလုိ မ်ားမ်ားေျပာရမယ္ေပါ့.. ရွည္ေတာ့ေကာ ဘာလုပ္မွာလဲ

    p.s. ဒါမ်ိဳးတင္လဲ ရတယ္ ကုိဘ၊ ဖတ္တယ္

    ReplyDelete
  3. ၿမန္မာလုိတင္ရင္ ပိုအားရသည္။

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  4. သိတဲ႕အတုိ္င္း အီးမေကာငး္ပါ။ သေဘာီသီး .နြားနုိ႕..............အဟင္႕။

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  5. ဒီပို႔ဖတ္ျပီးေတာ္ေတာ္အားရွိသြားတယ္။ အရမ္းေက်းဇူးပဲ ကိုBoyzေရ။ ဒီလိုအားရွိေစမယ့္ ပို႔ေတြမ်ားမ်ားတင္ပါ

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  6. ဟုတ္ပါ့..အေတာ္ခ်စ္ဖို႔ေကာင္းတဲ့ ေဒါက္တာပဲ။ အျပင္မွာေတြ႔ဖူးခ်င္လိုက္တာ..ေမးစရာရွိလို႔။

    ReplyDelete
  7. စားမယ္ ဝါးမယ္..
    Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
    A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
    Round shape ေလးနဲ့ အျပတ္မိုက္ ေအာင္ ၾကိုးစားလိုက္ပါ့မယ္ ေဒါက္တာ

    ReplyDelete
  8. မ ခင္ဦးေမ ေျပာသလိုပဲ ျမန္မာလုိတင္ရင္ ပုိအားရမယ္ အခုေတာ႔ အဂၤလိပ္စာ ျမင္ရင္ မဖတ္ခ်င္တာနဲ႔ နဲနဲပဲဖတ္သြားတယ္ ဘာမွန္းသိပ္မသိလုိက္ဘူး အဟိ ဒါေပမယ္႔ မန္႔သြားတယ္ေနာ္ ko boyz လာလည္ဦး ပထမဆံုး လာလည္ျပီးေတာ႔ လာလဲမလည္ဘူး ဘာလဲ ဘေလာ႔ဂ္ဂါ အသစ္ေလးကို မၾကိဳဆိုခ်င္ဘူးေပါ႔ေလ ဟုတ္လား
    အသစ္ဆိုျပီးေတာ႔ အားမေပးခ်င္ဘူးေပါ႔ ဂလိုလား
    ဟိဟိ စ တာေနာ္ လည္လည္လာရင္ ေပ်ာ္မွာပဲ
    တာ႔တာေနာ္

    ReplyDelete
  9. ဖတ္ရမွာ ပ်င္းထွာ...
    ဘာသာျပန္ေပးပါလား... ဟင္...

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  10. ျမန္မာလို ဘာသာျပန္ တင္ခ်င္ေပမယ့္ တစ္ခ်ိဳ႕ဟာသေတြက အဂၤလိပ္လို ဖတ္မွ လံုးေစ့ ပတ္ေစ့ အဓိပၸါယ္ သိႏိုင္မွာမို႔ ဘာသာျပန္ မတင္လုိက္တာပါ။

    ReplyDelete
  11. 09, 22:36
    ေပါက္: ျမိဳးက က်ဳပ္လဲ လာေရာ သူလဲ လစ္ေရာပဲ...အဲ့ေလာက္ေတာင္ က်ဳပကိုခ်စ္စရာလားး
    28 May 09, 22:34
    Boyz: ေပါက္.. ကမ္ပိန္...။
    28 May 09, 22:32
    ေပါက္: ေမ...စာက္ဘီးလဲက်ထားတဲ့ အနာမေပ်ာက္ေသးဘူးလား
    28 May 09, 22:32
    ေပါက္: :cheers:
    28 May 09, 22:31
    ေပါက္: ကိုဘ..乾杯
    28 May 09, 22:31
    Boyz: ဘာျဖစ္လို႔ ငိုတာတုန္း။ ငိုရင္ သမင္မမ်က္လံုးေလးလို လွတယ္ဆိုလို႔ ငိုေနတာလား။
    28 May 09, 22:29
    Mae: မ်ိဳး..ေတာ္ေတာ္နဲ႔ ေပ်ာက္မယ္မထင္ဘူး.. သက္ေတာ့ သက္သာပါတယ္
    28 May 09, 22:28
    Mae: ဟယ္.. ငုိပါနဲ႔..
    28 May 09, 22:28
    Mae: night..
    28 May 09, 22:25
    Boyz: ေရႊေငြပတၱျမား ဒီေရအလား တုိးပြားၾကပါေ။ မိမိေကာင္းမႈ အေၾကာင္းျပဳ ေတာင္းဆု ျပည့္ပါေစ။
    28 May 09, 22:25
    May Flower: မနက္က ငုိထားရလုိ ့ ခုမ်က္လုံးနဲနဲ နာၿပီး အိပ္ခ်င္လာၿပီ အိပ္ေတာ့မယ္ေနာ အားလုံး
    28 May 09, 22:25
    Boyz: ၁၀ခြဲကို အိပ္ပါေတာ့မည္။ သတၱ၀ါ အမ်ား က်န္းမာပါေစ။ ခ်မ္းသာပါေစ။ လူအခ်င္းခ်င္း လွည့္ပတ္ျခင္း ကင္းေ၀းၾကပါေဟ။ ေဘးရန္ခပ္သိမ္း ေရွာင္ခြာတိမ္း ကင္းျငိမ္းၾကပါေစဒ။ ရန္သူငါးပါး ဟူသမွ် ကင္းပၾကပါေဟ။

    ReplyDelete